Cosmo Film Review

I’m in a sour mood. So: a Fear list.

1. Vampires, the notion of turning cold and losing empathy for others frightens me like nothing. I’m completely terrified of it!
2. Spending the rest of my days in a totally meaningless office job. The one I’m currently holding is designed solely for the production of profit. It benefits nobody in any meaningful way. And all the posturing and lie-ing through one’s teeth at an office is enough to make me want to vomit.
3. Never finding true love. I’ve given so much love to so many people from the greatest depths of my soul, but it has never been reciprocated back in any real, lasting way. I know others fancy me and they really do love me deeply as a person, but I’ve yet to have found anybody who truly loves the very fact of my existence and will always want to share in it, for as long as life and fate would permit, as I would for their own.
4. Dying from an STD. Mostly because I would’ve given my love fully to another human being, only to get sick and die, with the likely-hood of not receiving any real, lasting love in return.
5. Running into the only man I know I’ve ever wronged. I have repeated nightmares about it. And I know, on some level, that I would deserve much worse that what I dream. 

夢 IV

Last night I dreamt that I worked at the hospital as a nurse who specialized in comforting patients prior to receiving major surgery. The patient I cared for in my dream was Kate Bush, who collapsed on stage during an award ceremony. She was frightened and wished to have somebody stay with her all night and keep her company. She allowed me to curl beside her in bed and we talked for a while about her music and about what love meant to each of us. She told me about how much she truly loved her husband and how lucky she felt herself to be to have him. When morning came, I awoke gently beside Kate and found her husband watching us from the doorway with a bouquet in hand. I could see in his expression that he felt a little concern over our physical closeness, but all fears melted away when he saw how excited and grateful Kate was to see him and when he saw my smile which read, “she loves you deeply.”